Friday, September 01, 2006
Am I the only person who thinks US President George W Bush's wave looks kinda gay? If you haven't noticed, here's how to perform the GWB wave action. Extend your arm outwards at an 80 degree angle or so, as if giving the infamous Nazi salute (don't hold it like that for long, otherwise you'll be giving the "George Bush is ten zillion times worse than a million Hitlers!" brigade a free pass). Make sure your arm and hand isn't too tensed up, though. Your fingers should be parted slightly. Now keep your arm reasonably steady, whilst vibrating your (straightened) hand in a rapid staccato tight vertical motion. The vertical travel of the tips of your fingers should not be more than five centimetres or so. Do that for a few seconds, then twist around 180 degrees and repeat the procedure in the opposite direction. Then go crazy. Cover all angles using this method. Go the full three-sixty wave-a-thon; people will notice. The crowd'll love it. Old women will want to kiss you; old men will try to shake your hand (no dice - too busy waving). Don't be surprised if schoolchildren throw flowers at you. Maybe that arsehole who thinks throwing cream pies at famous people represents some profound objection to the evils of the world will throw something else. Be feted like a President! Perfect the President's Gay Wave!
A still-shot of the Gay Wave. GWB's hand is currently in the upper tolerance of the action. He's with some dude whose wave is more conventional. Also, I hate the other guy's tie. Not to mention the fact that he should work out more. And do something about those bags, my Chilean friend!