Holding my pen, though the ink has run dried,If you'd just written that and were reading it upon completion, wouldn't the alarm bells be ringing right from the first line - "though the ink has run dried"? Run dried??? Ignoring the weird grammar, what's that supposed to mean, anyway? That he can't finish writing the rest of the poem? We should be so lucky! No. It's just an inelegant, meaningless and - poetic blunder of blunders - clichéd construction. The whole damn poem is reminiscent of some angsty 14 year old rebelling against the oppressive rule of mum and dad. In fact, the more I read it, the more I think that is exactly what it's about!
But I know these walls will speak,
To tell to the world, all the things they try to hide,
The words and views that should be heard.
What have they done to my lovely country,
Why all the trees are so still?
The only birds that fly are those made of steel,
They flatten my mountains and my hills.
What have they done to all the poor children,
Why are they all alone?
The hunger remains and they will never learn,
Of loving and laughter in a home.
What have they done to my brothers and sisters,
Why they are so tongue-tied?
The last time I heard from them was years ago,
Before they took away their pride.
I'm the first to admit that I wrote a fair bit of crap poetry during my own angsty teen period. However, even then I realised it was crap and I'd never show it to others. What is with these pretentious twerps and their delusions of poetic talent? Why are they compelled to flaunt their infelicitous verse to the world?